I don’t know whether any of you recall, but, I am an adult daughter of a Narcissistic(extreme) mother and last night at the age of 60, I had a nightmare about her after not having contact with her for almost 3 years now. I remember sleeping in bed, in an unknown home, and my lower lip was red, swollen, and the skin was broken. All I can think is that means an allergic reaction. Anyway, my frightening and very toxic mother was at my bedside and I tried to move away from her, but, couldn’t. I was paralyzed. It happened twice in the dream with a period of safety between the two episodes.
Author: Ruby
I am a lover of the Wordpress blogs and family you find here. I particularly like the blogs where people write about themselves. I started out as a commenter before writing my own blog.
Not Taking Being A Scapegoat Personally…It Literally Can Heal Your Heart.
Days, weeks, and years of endless suffering.
Like a self inflicted punishment.
A life sentence in fact.
All because your family is cold and mean and rejecting.
Let me save you the time and suffering.
I only wish someone else would have done me the same favor.
Hundreds and thousands of dollars over the course of a lifetime making your therapist rich.
The secret lies in understanding enmeshment.
(And the deeper the enmeshment the more potential it has to become dangerous).
When they look at you, they see themselves, the worst parts of themselves that is, and that’s why they hate you.
But it’s not you who they hate.
They hate the worst parts of themselves.
Yes it’s totally psychotic.
In enmeshment the lines are blurry between people.
Think Narcissism…lack of boundaries and a sick fusion.
Your money is their money.
Your husband is their husband etc.
And the Narcissist only wanting the best parts of any situation.
Not taking the bad with the good.
They are all good you see and you are all bad.
So they don’t even know you is what I’m trying to say.
They don’t know themselves either.
(Although there are types who do know what they are doing and it’s deliberate rather than automatic).
So what is going on is that they believe that they hold your virtues while it’s you who possesses their ugly thoughts and actions.
Like an identity theft as in trading places with the other person.
They can’t give you what you want which is a relationship.
(At least that’s what I wanted).
They are good at tasks and skills.
Avoid the relationship because that leads to the enmeshment that I’m talking about.
So remove yourself without being too obvious and yes definitely grey rock or very boring(not shining too brightly), because what else I learned is that these people tend to be quite envious(more danger).
Love yourself and live a private and therefore more safe of a life instead.
The way they treated you has nothing to do with you and it’s more or mostly about them.
And that is exactly why you can’t take it personally.
Get on with it in other words.
Heartache simply costs time and money that you don’t have. 😊 💕
A Word About Some Psychiatrists
The truth can scare some psychiatrists. Rather than acknowledging it, they make the mistake of putting away the the sane and innocent victim because then they can sleep better at night.
The news is often bad, but, when they hear a story firsthand they just don’t *want* to believe it.
In other words, denying the truth doesn’t make your world safe.
I believe that most psych patients are in fact right.
It’s not that they are *crazy*, it’s that they are symptomatic.
Wouldn’t you be a nervous wreck too telling someone the story of what happened to you?
Also, hospitals make a tremendous amount of money off of a new admission.
A good question to ask is, If meds don’t work, then why prescribe them?
Finally, the doctor will change the patients meds and if the patient continues to tell the same story it’s not that the patient is right, it’s that they have a *fixed* delusion.
I’ve concluded that without solid evidence or seeing it for oneself, a psych patient is often not believed.
That goes for *regular* people too, but, moreso for the psych patients.
Best defense is to become wise and stay silent.
This weeks conclusions
A lot of people are lying.
Good people who don’t lie are believing the lies of others.
This is one reason why certain people don’t get the help they need or deserve.
Not everyone knows their job or is doing their job.
No one is listening, no one cares, and even if they are and do they might not believe you.
You can be drowning in a pool of water shouting out to the passersby to throw you a life preserver, but, they don’t have to and might not want to.
Not everyone feels an obligation to other people like you do.
Most of the same people stay rich and most of the same people stay poor.
And it’s not always for the reasons that one might think.
The facts are in, but, people are refusing to draw the correct conclusion.
This week conclusions
Amazing since I stopped the HRT I have lost 3 pounds and my face is noticeably more slender.
I feel like I’m regaining control of my life a little.
This world is like a free-for-all with no rules I’ve decided so all I can do is worry about myself.
It’s hard for me because I’m a rule follower and I see people doing otherwise.
It can seem that those that follow the rules are made fun of while the aggressive liars reap the rewards.
I can feel that someone can run me over with a car, but, if I go to report it then I am the bad person.
Nine out of ten times people will side with the bully so that their own *SS is spared.
Rise Above Refuge By Ruby 